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Q. Help! My college roommate, I’ll call her Alice (not her real name) is a wonderful person, but our mutual friend, I’ll call her Barbara (again, not her real name), posted a really embarrassing picture on Facebook of Alice from many years ago when we were all together at college party. Let’s just say Alice was not at her best that night!
Alice is really sweet and doesn’t go on Facebook a lot. I don’t think she even knows that Barbara posted this picture, even though Barbara tagged Alice in the picture. Alice would be so humiliated if she saw this picture of herself on Facebook!
I sent Barbara a Facebook message asking her to take down the picture of Alice. I never heard back from her and the picture is still on Barbara’s Facebook page.
I’m not sure if I should tell Alice about it. Is there any way I can take the picture off of Facebook? And how can I make sure this doesn’t happen to me? I don’t want to be Barbara’s next target!
A. Wow, maybe Barbara was trying to be funny, but that sounds mean to me. Unfortunately, you cannot remove Alice’s photo, only Barbara can do that. You could try contacting Barbara again. Instead of sending her another Facebook message (not everyone checks their Facebook messages), you could try sending her an email or calling her, if you have her contact information, and asking her once more to remove the picture of Alice.
[note] When someone posts a photo on Facebook and tags you in the photo, your friends can view and comment on the photo [/note]
If you don’t get a response from Barbara or she refuses to remove the photo of Alice, you should tell Alice what has happened. Alice may be able to be more persuasive with Barbara since she is directly affected.
If Barbara doesn’t remove the embarrassing photo from Facebook, Alice can remove the tag that Barbara put on the photo and/or report it to Facebook. Here is a link to the Facebook page explaining how to remove tags: Removing Photo Tags from Facebook.
You and Alice can and should protect yourselves from future embarrassing photo tags on Facebook. Facebook now allows you to pre-approve when someone tags you in a photo. To protect against someone tagging you in an embarrassing photo, change your privacy settings to require that you approve of photo tags on Facebook. (See more about how Facebook photo tags work here: How Facebook Tags Work)
To require pre-approval of tags, go to Account in the upper right corner of the screen. Click on Account => Privacy Settings => How Tags Work => Edit Settings => Tag Review => On
While you’re in Privacy Settings, you may want to review other options, such as not allowing friends to check you into places using mobile apps.
I’m sorry that an embarrassing photo of Alice was posted by Barbara. But by taking precautions for the future, she can prevent people from tagging her in Facebook photos without her permission.
Have you ever had an embarrassing photo posted by someone on Facebook? How did you handle the situation? Let us know in the Comments section below!
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I have a related question. We all hear about kids who post photos of themselves on FB engaging in, shall we say, risky behaviors. I’ve heard that this can come back to haunt them, even if they take these photos down. I’ve read that somehow, future employers and other important people can still see them. Is that true? Is there anyway things can permanently be removed? Is it difficult for, say, a potential employer to find inappropriate photos of people on Facebook once the photos have been removed? Does it take some kind of advanced search?
Great question, Kathy! Facebook has a less than stellar reputation for keeping photos that should have been deleted. Here is an article from Ars Technica on the subject: Are “deleted” photos really gone from Facebook? Not always.
I should also mention this article from Ars Technica was from 2009 so this may no longer be an issue on Facebook. I could not find any more recent article saying this issue was resolved, though.
Just to add to Carolyn’s comment, Kathy, I did some research recently on Social Intelligence Corporation. Many companies are choosing to outsource their social media monitoring and this could be to our advantage. For example, SIC only accesses social media content that’s publicly available. That means, if you only share your embarrasing photos with friends, SIC won’t report it.
Here’s the article I wrote on what I found: http://www.yellowbrickroad.com/follow/the-cia-of-social-media-is-watching-you/ << Carolyn, I wasn't sure if I was allowed to share this, but please delete it or remove the link if you'd prefer! =)
Hi Samantha, Thanks so much for sharing your fascinating article with us! I am delighted when people share information in comments that is helpful to Wonder of Tech readers!
I read your article and was very interested to learn about the Social Intelligence Corporation. I have read and seen some posts on Facebook that were very surprising, but usually it is when the person’s account has been hacked. Do you know if the SIC can tell if these sorts of posts were created by hackers?
Thanks again, Samantha, for your visit and sharing your insightful article with us! 🙂
You’re so welcome, Carolyn! I’m really glad it was helpful! =)
Actually, I’m not sure if SIC has a way to detect if the information is real or false, but SIC allows you to dispute a record (which apparently doesn’t happen very often in the first place). But if you’re in the right, SIC doesn’t pull up that negative information in the future!
Hi Samantha, That’s great that there is a way to dispute the record. But what if you never find out that SIC found the hacked photo or post? Presumably, SIC presents its report to the potential employer who doesn’t hire you. You never find out why.
This is just scary to think of the ways your internet presence.can come back to haunt you.
Thanks, again, Samantha, for your very helpful information!
Great point, Carolyn! Actually, part of SIC’s contract with employers is that they are allowed to (and promise to) let you know if you *why* you were not hired. If you don’t get hired because of their data, they will show you exactly what the incriminating evidence is, so you can dispute it! Fancy eh? =)
Hi Samantha, I’m very happy to learn that. In my mind, that’s the way it should be. Taking that extra step could help people whose Facebook accounts have been hacked. Or, if they posted the embarrassing photo themselves, they could learn from their mistakes!
Thanks for stopping back by and clarifying this for us! 🙂
This happened to me before. I changed my privacy settings then. It was on another FB account not the one I have now. I haven’t changed the privacy settings for the one I have now.
I can imagine the embarrassment, Carolyn. You could lose your job! I know you can prevent this from happening, but still people aren’t happy with the tag system.
Kathy mentioned something important. I have watched a video before about deleting photos on FB. The guy deleted some of his photos and did something after that, I don’t remember… He copied some links or something. Then he visited the links and he found the deleted photos! They weren’t deleted or what…? I don’t really know. But this is soooo scary…
Hi Mouh, I couldn’t agree more. These days cameras are everywhere as smartphone usage increases daily. Even an unflattering photo can be embarrassing.
Very scary.
Forgot to tell, I still vote as I promised. Best of luck, Carolyn!
Thank you so much for your votes, Mouh!
Have you seen my Facebook photo? 🙂
It must be 20 years old and rather manipulated. I put the printout on the notice board to age it and then rescanned it! People are used to that photo of me though. I might have a fan page or group page on Facebook when I start self hosting; not sure which is best. Which allows the most fans and which allows the best communication with ‘fans’.
I only took a few photos today but got a microwave half price!
Hi Mike, Congratulations on your new microwave! That’s great that you were able to find one on sale. Maybe with the money you saved, a smartphone is in your future?
I suggest a Facebook Fan Page for your new site. Please keep us posted when it launches!
Hey Carolyn,
Not embarassing photos, but I hate people tagging silly photos which don’t make sense at all! Like these scenery and all and some totally unrelated photos and they tag me; gets a little irritating. All I do is send a polite message across telling them that I really don’t know why they have done it and I am going to untag it!
Hi Hajra, I agree, Facebook photo tags are very annoying when you are tagged in a totally irrelevant picture. But that’s better than an embarrassing photo being posted! I don’t get why people do that though, other than to get your attention. Aren’t there better ways to get attention?
Thanks so much for your visit, Hajra. It’s great to have you visit again at The Wonder of Tech! 🙂
What, you think I would ever be in an embarrassing photo op? Ha. Actually I do have some pics on my wall are not embarrassing, but some women not my wife hugging on me. Of course, I’m a hugger so maybe I get a hall pass and my wife has never said anything about them.
That’s probably a good idea however to be able to pre-approve any pics. Sometimes people can be mean and hateful.
Hi Bill, well, I didn’t want to say anything, but there is an embarrassing picture of you on your most recent blog post, Loud and proud, I’m coming out! But bravo to you for posting that photo before anyone else does.
Seriously, congratulations to you on the re-launch of your blog! I’m sure that the meteoric success of your awesome blog will continue to grow!
Thanks so much, Bill, for sharing your wonderful comment, posting your amazing tweets and voting for The Wonder of Tech!
I’m pretty sure i don’t have embarrassing photos on Facebook, i, like many other people across Facebook only get tagged on unrelated photos.
Hi Jocuri, Given the choice, I would rather have the annoyance of being tagged in unrelated photos than embarrassing photos. But you know what would be even better? Tags that only occur in flattering, relevant photos!
Thanks so much, Jocuri, for your visit and great comment!
This was excellent timing because I don’t think many people know that Facebook will let you remove tags of yourself.
I was tagged in a dumb picture, (nothing scandalas, just not very flattering) and taking the tag off was the first thing I did once I learned of it.
Thanks for the great tips.
Bryce
Hi Bryce, Yes, I love all tech questions from Wonder of Tech readers, but timely questions are especially awesome!
You may want to adjust your settings as suggested in the article so you pre-approve photo tags of you on Facebook. That way you don’t have to worry about missing Facebook notices of photo tags.
Thanks so much for your visit and brilliant comment! Great to have you stop by again. 🙂
Hi Carolyn,
Also if you report the photo as bullying it may be taken down from facebook. I have seen some nasty comments on other people’s walls that should not be there and have reported them and they were taken down soon after. So definitely report the photo if it’s really offensive.
Wow, Nicki, that’s awesome that you have reported posts on Facebook. It’s so important to stand up for yourself and your friends. I should have mentioned that the purpose of reporting the embarrassing photo to Facebook was for the purpose of having it removed.
Thanks so much, Nicki, for your visit and valuable comment! 🙂
Thanks Carolyn, This is sure to get those crazy comments I get on Facebook for photo’s im tagged. Its bad, that facebook is taking so long to implement these features.
Hi Eddie, I agree. The internet is definitely like the Wild West but it would be helpful if a site like Facebook could govern their territory. Obviously they can’t monitor every post. But from Nicki’s comment above, it seems like Facebook is willing to delete offending comments and photos. Whether those photos are really gone seems to be unknown.
Thanks so much, Eddie, for your visit and comment! 🙂
People who are using social networking site like facebook must be responsible enough with their acts. I know that at times things could be just for fun, but remember that are published in these sites can also cause harm to other people. In the end of the victims, it is important that they do the necessary actions to this situation ruin their lives just like by reporting issues to FB people.
Hi Mark, Welcome to The Wonder of Tech! I agree, we’re really still in the beginning phases of social media. I’m thinking that as the medium matures, the social etiquette will evolve. Most likely in a few years flaming someone on Facebook will be as off limits as calling someone a name to his face.
Thanks so much, Mark, for stopping by and taking the time to leave your comment. 🙂
More than embarrassing, its been annoying …. you know the facebook apps, which puts profile pics of your top friends in a sorta collage, and adds to your photo album. It also tags all those friends… and it starts appearing in everyone’s wall!
I usually untag myself these kinda pics.
Hi iRewardChart, I have to admit, I had the opposite reaction to this the first time it happened to me. I was flattered to be included in this woman’s collage because I didn’t really think of us as close friends. But I haven’t had been included very often, then the thrill would definitely wear off.
Thanks so much, iRewardChart, for your visit and wonderful comment!
While there are a lot of great things about social media I think that there are a lot more negatives, you will never get me on facebook
Hi James, Welcome to The Wonder of Tech! I won’t try to get you on Facebook, lol. But never say never.
I had a friend join Facebook this week who swore to me for years that she would never join. I nearly fell off my chair when I saw the friendship invitation. I haven’t had a chance to ask her what changed her mind. Actually, I’m wondering if she’s regretting her decision after reading today’s blog post. Oops! :-< Thanks so much, James, for stopping by and leaving an awesome comment! 🙂
What an important topic to bring up, Carolyn! I had no idea about this new feature to monitor tags! I actually have all my photos (aside from profile photos) only visible to myself because I didn’t like how random photos would show up. =) I mean, there had to be a way to monitor our personal brand somehow! =)
Thanks so much, friend! Super informative!
Hi Samantha, Yes, the reader’s question was timely. I don’t think many people know yet about the ability to require that you pre-approve tags. This can really prevent embarrassment from posts by not-so-well-meaning friends.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your brilliant comment, Sam. Always a pleasure to have you visit! 😀
People share photos online and I believe tags are added to photos to get the tagged person looking at it. The reason why is to validate the self-worth of the person sharing the photo, to have others acknlowedge their existence, it is an indication of low self-esteem. That’s my theory anyway. 🙂
Thanks for the tip on reviewing tags.
Hi Ian, I suspect you are 100% correct. My personal philosophy is that insecurity is the root of all evil. What other explanation could there possibly be to post an embarrassing photo of someone else on Facebook?
Thanks so much, Ian, for your visit and insightful comment. I really enjoyed checking out your blog. Thanks for posting the link here! 🙂
Hi Carolyn,
Great post.
In my opinion, it is a matter of decency not to put the image of a person who would be embarrassed by them. It really helps to ask them before hand so as to avoid a confrontation later.
I think the tagging feature has come a bit late but then I think the software development and testing does take a lot of time. Now that it is there, it is a great way to avoid potential embarrassing situations.
In my opinion however, privacy these days is not what it used to be and thus people need to be extra careful posing for photographs which can become troublesome late on. It is better to be safe than sorry . Later on things become much more complicated and difficult.
Thanks for sharing tips on this feature.
Hi Ashvini, I couldn’t agree with you more, but common decency is becoming increasingly uncommon.
With smartphone use becoming all the more prevalent, cameras are everywhere. Now people don’t necessarily have to pose to have an embarrassing picture taken of them. Even unflattering pictures can be taken at any time. Have you ever paused a video only to find a beautiful movie star looking silly because her eyes were half closed?
Thanks so much, Ashvini, for your kind words about the post, your insightful comments, wonderful tweet and awesome Facebook post! I really appreciate all of it. 🙂
Hi Carolyn,
I was also thinking about reporting the photo. I didn’t know about the pre-approval of tags. Though I have seen something about approving the tags that someone has put in your own picture. Maybe I need to take a look more on the privacy setting now. I haven’t tweaked anything on my Facebook for months. ^^
Hi Miles, Welcome to The Wonder of Tech! I think it’s a wise idea to check your Facebook privacy settings every so often. They regularly make changes to their privacy policies so it’s good to see who is able to access your information.
Thanks, Miles, for your visit and awesome comment! 🙂
This must been embarrassing. Thanks God, I’ve never been in such situation. But I know a lot of girls who post on their profiles photos that should not be proud but that’s their choice.
Hi Carla, Welcome to The Wonder of Tech! You bring up a great point. Sometimes the embarrassing photos are posted by the person in the photo. I have seen that happen, mostly with younger people. I also wonder what they are thinking when they post these photos.